MTA

There are very few things worse than a non-air conditioned subway car.   I cannot even fathom how dreadful and horrible riding the trains must have been before all of the cars had a/c, because every time I get into a car with stagnate warm horrible air I want to immediately flee.

There are always those moments, when you’re waiting on the train platform and the car that stops in front of you actually has, (gasp) open seats.  You smile to yourself thinking how lucky you are, step in, sit down and at the exact moment the doors “bing” and start to close, you breathe in and realize why this car is so empty.  It smells of pee, or vomit or is 100 million degrees.  These moments are the only moments when I miss having a car.   

I love public transportation.  I love never having to drive myself.  I love the luxury of being able to read or text or play Candy Crush for my entire commute.  I love the fact that I can pop in my ear buds, blast my show tunes and zone out.   I also love that if I get stuck underground on a slow or malfunctioning train – everyone who has ever relied on the MTA will understand my tardiness.  It is a shared frustration and something we can bond over.

Twice – not once, but TWICE I sat down only to realize a second to late that I was sitting in a puddle of what I can only hope is water – clean bottled water that some very hygienic tourist accidentally spilled – the actuality is too gruesome to consider.  Even at those moments, I love public transportation.   

When there’s urine on the floor, or barf on a seat – I don’t begrudge the MTA.  Someone just really had to go and couldn’t wait another second.  But when the a/c isn’t working, or just not on?  I want to kill everyone.  There’s no need to shove 8 million people into tiny metal tubes and make us sweatier than we already are.  For the love of everything holy, please, please, please, please, keep the air on.

Oh, and on an unrelated note; I found my first gray hair yesterday.  Awesome. 

Santa's hat.

This morning I saw a guy who looked exactly like Santa Claus riding a motor scooter and wearing a fedora.  It was one of the most delightful sights I’ve seen in a long time.  

I’d love to imagine that

a) Santa is real 

b) that he lives in Queens

c)keeps fit in the off season by riding a scooter. 

Wouldn’t that be amazing? And of course he’d be trendy enough to wear a fedora – and rock it.  

Good for you Kris Kringle… good for you. 

Being patient...

This weekend I was talking about my single status, and had a girl tell me to “be patient” and that “the right guy comes along when you aren’t looking for it”.  Now, I realize that she was trying to be kind, that she meant well, but before I go on, there are a few things I’d like to illustrate for you about said girl so you can get a better mental picture of it all. 

• This girl is gorgeous.  I mean, stop-and-stare stunning.  I’m no slouch, mind you, but this is the kind of girl that makes the rest of us feel a little less lovely.  Oh, and we were tubing down a river in PA, so we were wearing our swimsuits.  You know how most women are comfortable in their bathing clothes so long as they can wear shorts or a sarong?  Yeah, this girl was just wearing her bikini.  And rocking it. 
• This girl is 23. 
• This girl has been with her boyfriend “on and off” for ten years.  Which means that this girl met her boyfriend when they were freshmen in high school – and they are still together. 
• This girl is also not the brightest bulb in the box.  She is nice.  Super super nice.  (But please read/say that with a tinge of valley girl in your voice and you’ll get the idea.)   

Every time I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m an awesome single person – that the fact I haven’t dated anyone seriously in 2 and a half years doesn’t bother me anymore, I realize that I am a big fat liar.  It does bother me.  Of course it does.  And I swear to God that if one more person tells me that “it’ll happen when I stop looking for it” I might punch them in the face.  I don’t know how anyone who wants to find a partner to share their lives with and hasn’t yet found said match could not be looking for it.  Maybe it’s because I’ve watched too many rom-coms, but I want to find more than just a “you’ll do”.  You know what I mean, the guy you keep around because he makes you feel less lonely, more attractive/interesting/fun/pretty/whatever… 

Now, could I have kept dating my boyfriend from high school into adulthood?  Probably – he was really into me.  Well one of them was, the guy I dated as a senior dumped me for a freshman – that was a mess in itself... also not the point here.  But if I was still with a guy from 10 years ago, I’m certain that we’d both be miserable.   And even if I’m so lonely that it hurts, and even if my dog will be my only love for the next 13-16 years, I would rather be awesomely single and happy whenever possible than miserably paired up with the wrong guy.