Two things about New York City.

I was a junior in high school the first time I visited New York City.  My mom and I were nearing the end of a two week road trip to look at college campuses, and my dad flew in to meet us in The Big Apple.  I don’t remember where we stayed, or what we ate.  I don’t remember how long we were here, or what the weather was like.  I don’t remember seeing any of the sights or even shopping.  From that few days I remember only a couple of things.  

First?  We saw the Scarlet Pimpernel on Broadway – I remember waiting in line at TKTS to pick out what show we’d see.   And I remember sitting between my parents as the overture started and the curtain rose.

And second, I remember my dad buying a sandwich for a homeless man.  He didn’t stop and think about it, or talk much about it afterward.  We were walking down some street in midtown and a guy was standing outside a deli asking for change.  My dad stopped, asked him what he’d like to eat and went inside to buy it.  I remember thinking how kind that was.  No big show or presentation, just lunch for a guy who hadn’t had breakfast.  I also remember my dad saying something about how it’s always better to give someone food than to give them money, since you’re never sure what they’ll spend it on.  I carry granola bars in my bag for that reason.   Well, that and I get very crabby when I’m hungry, so it’s nice to have an emergency snack.

Today I had to take a mid-afternoon walk.  My day job has been pretty stressful this week and I realized at 2pm that I hadn’t eaten lunch or left my desk all day.  So I put on my coat, and hat and scarf and gloves, because spring is still nowhere to be found and went walking around Union Square.  I found myself in the Trader Joe’s so I could pick up something for my nephew dog, and a woman in line behind me was an inch away from starting a fist fight with the woman in line behind her.  For cutting.  The woman behind both of them.  Oh, only in New York.     After that, my sense of anxiety hadn’t lessened – if anything it was higher.  Outside the deli by my office asking for change was a homeless man I’ve seen before.  As I’ve done before I walked by him with a sense of purpose, and then, for whatever reason I remembered this one thing my dad did a million years ago and I went back and asked him what he’d like for lunch.  A meatball sandwich with mozerella- LOTS of mozerella later, I felt more like myself.    I may not be changing lives or singing on Broadway (yet) but at least I’m not picking fights at Trader Joes or living on the streets.  I don’t have much money, but I can definitely spare $6.53 for a man who hasn’t eaten in two days. 

May we all take a lesson from my Pop and be a little nicer to others– especially those who have less than us.

McD's and dirty faces

When I was little, and I stayed home sick from school my mother would get me a happy meal at lunch.   That was the only time we got McDonald’s really.  My mom was so careful about what we ate that she’d mark on the family calendar when we ordered pizza – so as to never exceed our once a month rule.  Because ordering pizza twice in a month?  Preposterous.  Perhaps that rationing is why I got so fat in college… oh well.

But I think because of my Happy Meal sick-day regimen, now that I’m an adult, anytime I feel less than stellar; all I want are chicken nuggets and French fries.  I don’t know why my body craves something that makes me feel like crap when I’m already feeling crappy, but it does.  As if I don’t feel lousy enough, let’s add in the worst edible offerings to upset things further, shall we?

Yesterday I had one of those days where I felt like the universe was out to get me.  I started crying on my walk to the train – pulled myself together.  I cried on the train – pulled myself together. And took two walks during the day to avoid crying at my desk.  I missed my morning workout because I forgot to turn on my alarm when setting it (helpful tip – if you want it to go off in the morning, you need to turn it on) and I felt lazy and fat and terrible.  Emotionally I was also a wreck, so clearly, passing a McDonald’s several times on each walk did my will power no good at all.  That place is like a sick or sad person magnet.  I stopped in, of course, and then, not immediately because it takes my body a full 15 minutes to realize what I’ve done, but 15 minutes later I wished with all my might that I’d just gone elsewhere and ordered a salad.

I am paying for yesterday’s mistake today. 

Oh, speaking of today - for the third year in a row, it took me seeing four people with soot on their face before I remembered it was Ash Wednesday.  I just kept thinking they were dirty, and how did they not notice? 

If I ever walk into a church again I will be struck by lightning.   Happy almost Lent. 

Paying for clean clothes.

This morning I did something I swore I would never do.  I paid someone to do my laundry.  I dropped off my 31 pounds of dirty clothes and can pick them up clean this afternoon.  I won't of course, pick them up today- the Laundromat will close long before I'm home, but in theory- I could.

I am horrified that my life has come to this. I am actually, not figuratively - actually too busy to wash my own clothes. And I'm out of clean underwear, so dire straights are happening right now. 

I just got home from an amazing 4 night cruise to Mexico and while I meant to do laundry before I left, it didn't happen. And maybe it's because I've spent 5 days feeling pampered and spoiled, but the thought of paying to have clean clothes came just hairs ahead of buying new clothes instead of washing them myself.

At Christmas this year my mother said "that living in New York has changed me", and while I didn't agree at the time, I now see that she is right. 

Rules of Improv

I have spent the last ten years of my life studying and performing improv.  I was incredibly lucky to meet and learn from some of the best and most brilliant improvisers in Chicago and New York, and now that I spend a great deal of my time coaching and teaching, I have come up with a list of personal truths about the art form.  The best improv is always changing. The best improvisers are always willing to learn, and aren’t afraid to fail as they work on new skills. 

• So, take it or leave it, here is my list of rules for being the best you can be.
  
  
  ·      The smarter you are the better improviser you’ll be.  This is true about almost everything.  A stupid but true joke an old teacher of mine used to say was “play to the top of your intellect not the bottom of your ass”… or something like that.  So read books, pay attention to the news, follow what's happening in politics and know and understand the importance of at least three current pop culture references. 
  ·      The more you do outside of improv, the better improviser you’ll be. If all you do is improv - night after night of improv - your improv will get boring and stale.   You have to have a work/life balance.  
  ·      The more people you know and meet and observe, the better improviser you’ll be.  When I start to feel like my characters are getting boring or repetitive, I start watching people on the train.  If you find someone interesting, study them.  How do they walk? What does their voice sound like? The more perceptive you are of the world around you, the more interesting and real and honest your characters will be.
  ·      The more you’ve loved and lost, the better improviser you’ll be.  If you know what it feels like to experience human emotion – you can and should use that in your work.  Don’t be a robot – they are only interesting to the people that designed them.
  ·      Remember to have fun.  We call it playing for a reason.  If you aren’t having fun improvising, take a break or find a different team to play with.  If you aren’t having fun, than neither is your audience.
  ·      Make your scenes about the other person and how your character feels about them.  Too often we focus on ourselves and on the hilarious jokes we are sure to make if only our damn partner sets us up properly – if you focus on making your scene partner look good, and they do the same, your work will be so much stronger.
  ·      Don’t be a dick. One liners are only funny once -- then what?
  ·      Find the reality of your world and settle into it.  If you jump into weird town half way thru the scene for no reason you’re going to lose your audience.  If you start there and everyone commits to it, then sure, go for it!  The audience will go anywhere with you if you earn it and honor it.  Don’t build a world only to tear it down again. 
  ·      For the love of God - do something with your hands! No one stands around like a talking head all the time. Ever.  We all fidget.  Don’t forget that your characters are also people; or dogs, or dragons, or aliens.  All of whom are rarely still.  The exception to this rule is when you play inanimate objects – but if you’re going to do that – commit the shit out of it.  
  ·      Move outside your comfort zone; try new things. The best improv comes from people willing to take risks; but, you have to commit to the risk – you can’t half-ass a bold move.  To the audience this just looks like an improviser dicking over the scene.   Commit!
  ·      If someone makes a bold move - match them! Don’t drop it and make them look like an ass - find a way to repeat it and you’ll all look brilliant!
  ·      If it scares you, do it more.   Susan Messing used to say this to me all the time at iO, and while it’s taken me years to really understand the importance of it – she’s right.  If something scares you, Do. It. More.