Dog-vision

About a month ago I adopted a dog.  A perfect little mutt who looks nothing like the dog I always imagined I’d bring into my life.  Her legs are 3 inches long and her body is the length of a truck.  She’s shy and weird and brave and snuggly.  

 There is an unreasonable selection of dog toys, goods and accessories available online.  There is such a thing as a Thunder-Coat.  Someone is probably retiring now, because they invented the idea of a Thunder Coat.  It’s a blanket you wrap tightly around the dog’s body during a storm, and it’s supposed to calm their nervous system or something.   You want a collar that will keep them from barking without shocking their neck?  You can buy one that shoots out citronella instead.  I bought my dog puppy stairs - to make her climb onto my bed easier.   If there was ever any hope of my love life looking less depressing, it has since gone out the window - I now share my bed with a furry loveable pile of kisses and sneezes.   All thanks to the puppy stairs.

 Having a dog changes the way I look at everything.  If people don’t smile when they see my dog – they are ass holes.  If other dogs aren’t friendly enough to sniff at her – their owners are ass holes.  If people, like the man who sat next to me on my flight back to NYC last weekend, are scared of her – they are idiots.  I no longer feel bad about being a judgmental person – I do it in the name of my dog.  The vet tech tried to take blood twice and couldn’t find a vein and my poor little pup stayed quiet and scared.  I stepped in after her third try failed, grabbed her off the table, and forbid him from jabbing at her one more time.  I demanded that the vet do it himself.   I don’t feel bad about being a bitch to him because she doesn’t have a voice and cannot fight for herself.

You know, people (mainly my roommate) may judge me for buying her puppy stairs.  People may judge me for talking to my dog in public like she were a person – an adorable little person.  People may judge me for carrying her when she gets too tired to walk up the stairs to my apartment.  And people may judge me for letting her sleep with her head on my pillow.  But the only thing I’ll judge myself for is purchasing a Thunder Coat on Amazon.  It will be delivered on Friday.