Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Order for Pick UP

You know that episode of Sex in the City when Miranda orders Chinese food and the guy makes fun of her for ordering the same thing she always ordered, so she yells at him for laughing?  And then later she chokes on a piece of chicken and freaks out about the potential of dying alone in her apartment and her cat eating her dead body? I remember watching that episode from my sheltered mid-western life and thinking it was so hilarious.  

I don't think it's very funny anymore. 


There's a sushi place across the street from my apartment. I am not a huge sushi person but there are a few rolls that I love; sweet potato roll with no eel sauce and an Avocado roll with peanut. I occasionally get edamame to spice things up. But only when I'm really hungry.  Last night i called, gave my number for an "order for pick-up", and then ordered my old stand by rolls.  She actually, out loud laughed at me.  "Same as usual, then?"  Uh, yeah.  Same as usual.  

Also, if whatever I ordered last time and the time before that and the time before that comes up on your screen once you type in my phone number and you see that it is EXACTLY the same order everytime, why make me say out loud that I'd like to continue the monotony?  Why must I say out loud the words "no eel sauce" when you can see damn well that I don't want any.  

Now, she has made comments before about the boring repetition of my orders - but only ever upon pick-up.  And since she does so between compliments or questions about my tiny dog, then I'm usually more amenable to her judgement.  But to openly mock me while I'm ordering crosses a line. 

Is this a line that I will never cross again?  Probably not.  But still.  It's the principle of the matter and I will boycott for as long as I can.  So, TJs - you're out a customer at least until November. 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Poison Ivy

I got poison ivy on my face. Nearly healed and dwindled down to soft red splotches on my cheeks and jaw line, but last week i was not so lucky.  Last week I looked like a leper- or like i had peeling psoriasis all over my face. Neither are a fun option when you live where I live. On the train i could feel people staring. Half of them were trying to figure out what was wrong and the other half just trying to get further away from me in case it was contagious.

The saddest part of this is that this is not the first time I've had poison ivy on my face. Not the second or even the third. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson. 

The summer I adopted my dog I took her up north and she was playing in woods that were poison ivy ridden. I washed my hands like crazy that week - but never thought to wash her. I got PI all over my nose. Big itchy blisters on the tip of my nose. It was super un-awesome.  

My last or second to last year of being a camp counselor I got Poison Sumac on my face. All over my face. It was bad. I looked like a burn victim. I looked like I was wearing a mask of dead schluffy skin.  I had to get multiple steroid shots in my ass that month before it cleared up.  I remember feeling so bad for the parents of the campers who had to try to pretend like they weren't worried or staring as they dropped their daughters off for two weeks of living with the Phantom of the Opera.  

Now please excuse me while I go scrub my face with poison to kill the poison.