Rain manners.

Living in New York City I am constantly shocked and disgusted by how oblivious people are to other people. 

If it’s raining, yes that’s lousy.  Inconvenient even, oh, and messy.  But does a single regular sized person need a golf-sized umbrella? Absolutely not.  If it’s raining and you’re walking up Seventh Avenue in mid-town and you’re beneath the seemingly endless miles of scaffolding, close your umbrella.  If the option is to close it and walk like a normal human, or leave it open and likely stab several strangers in the head with the nubs of your umbrella’s edge – most people would realize the obvious choice.  In NYC however, it’s safer to wear a masked helmet during the rain than to hope for awareness from others.   If you are walking in the rain, in a sea of other commuters slugging to work under their umbrellas, pay attention.  If you are taller than the person coming at you, raise your umbrella’s edge above theirs.  If you are shorter, do the opposite.  Why is that not obvious?  Why are there people who just stamp down the center of the sidewalk, inevitably going in the opposite direction of 90% of the people around them, and who NEVER, not even once, even consider that their umbrella should move even an inch.  I can’t even count the number of times I’ve nearly lost an eye.

I also will never understand New Yorkers in elevators.  If you shove yourself onto an already full elevator car, and push a button higher than a floor that’s already lit, you will be asked to move out of the way when the doors open.  Surprise!  The people you’re shoving into a corner so you don’t have to wait another two minutes for the next available car? Yeah, those people will need to get off before you.  So move out of the way.  And don’t be surprised about it.  And don't be a jerk about it either.  

If you are riding an escalator and don’t feel like walking, move to the right.  Do not get on the left side of the escalator watch twenty people hustle up in front of you and neglect the twenty standing right behind you silently seething that you are in their way.   Move the hell over.  Pay attention. 

I used to dislike children.  Like a lot.  I’d actively go out of my way to not ever be near them.  When I got my job at Disney World a few of my friends voiced concern over the shear number of kids that I’d interact with daily – ah, the things we do for a paycheck…. But I realized, during my tenure with The Mouse, that I do not actually dislike kids.  I dislike shitty parents.  If you have a shitty kid, it’s because you are not doing your job as a parent to teach them how to be better humans.  If I could change one thing about humanity it’s that I would ask for everyone to be more aware of others.  While you're teaching your kids about sharing, and not hitting and saying "please", perhaps you could toss in a lesson or two about thinking about other people and being aware of their surroundings.  And to never text and walk.  One of these days I am going to trip those idiots on purpose and not help them up.  Somehow I feel like the masses will applaud me for it.  And I will take a bow for sure.