Money down the drain.

Last night I did something I swore I'd never do. I paid actual money for extra lives in Candy Crush.

Well, actually, it was $0.99 for five extra turns.   But tomato tamahto.

I am ashamed of myself.

I promised myself that when I downloaded that insidious game I would never ever spend money to move ahead. I learned my lesson with Citiville on facebook… you think “oh it’s only a dollar, and c’mon, look at all I'll get”. In truth, what do you get?  Nothing. Nothing at all.  

Unless you count self-loathing as a perk.  Because if so – it comes in packs of 12.

I had been stuck on the same level of CandyCrush for almost three weeks. I play a lot too so that's a long time. I play when I’m on the train- going and coming from work or rehearsal or where ever.

I wouldn’t say that I’m a superstitious person- well, maybe I am- I mean, I always pick up heads up pennies when I find them and put them in my right shoe. I try not to walk beneath ladders, and I always toss salt over my shoulder if it spills... So i guess I am.  So disregard my previous statement.  I am a superstitious person.   I've had a rough go this month- I was unceremoniously dumped, I'm frustrated at my job and both of my parents have had recent health trouble.

So, for whatever reason, last night was the final straw. Some tiny unrealistic voice in my brain said - if you can get past this level then the rest of your shitty problems will also start to feel like they're behind you – no longer squashing you resolve to move forward. So I did it. I typed in my apple ID and bought the extra moves.

You wanna know the saddest part? I'm not even to level 200 yet- and I'm pretty sure there are 400 total - so If I get that stumped before I'm even half way thru the game - then what the hell is waiting for me later? If I were smart I'd delete the game now and go back to doing a crossword puzzle on my morning commute.