I, along with what felt like a million other people peacefully walked the streets of our nation's capitol taking our first steps in what will be the longest walk of my life. We are in for a constant battle against our new/current administration, and this past week of attending my first ever rally and my first ever protest march offered me the first moments of relief since TinyHands was elected President. I felt inspired instead of defeated. I felt a tiny morsel of hope. And I felt grateful to be surrounded by people who felt the same.
I just read a blog post by a woman named Chi Nguyen who attended the march and rally in DC yesterday as well. She writes about how disappointed she was that so many people were disrespectful during the rally. How angry and hurt she feels that the attendees gave the impression that they only cared to hear from the white presenters. And you know what? She isn't wrong.
My friends and I braved the masses and somehow, by the grace of accidental turns, we found ourselves at the rally. At the very back of the rally, but at the rally nonetheless. We missed the first couple hours, and we were almost all the way at the back - seemingly miles away from the stage - and as far away from one of the jumbotron monitors as we could have been without touching the one behind us, but we were there. Unfortunately this meant we were equally far from the speakers, so hearing what was being said was difficult.
The first few chants of "March! March! March!" came during breaks between speakers and I joyfully joined in. I was eager to move - eager to march - inspired by the energy of the day and wanting to expel it in a way beyond just standing still. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that I also joined in on the chants during a few speakers as well. It was over an hour and 15 minutes passed the time when the marching was supposed to have taken place, and the people behind me could hear even less than we could so I understand the frustration of non-movement, but today I realize how inappropriate and rude we were, and I am sorry for the handful of "MARCH!" es I added to the mix.
My friends and I braved the masses and somehow, by the grace of accidental turns, we found ourselves at the rally. At the very back of the rally, but at the rally nonetheless. We missed the first couple hours, and we were almost all the way at the back - seemingly miles away from the stage - and as far away from one of the jumbotron monitors as we could have been without touching the one behind us, but we were there. Unfortunately this meant we were equally far from the speakers, so hearing what was being said was difficult.
The first few chants of "March! March! March!" came during breaks between speakers and I joyfully joined in. I was eager to move - eager to march - inspired by the energy of the day and wanting to expel it in a way beyond just standing still. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that I also joined in on the chants during a few speakers as well. It was over an hour and 15 minutes passed the time when the marching was supposed to have taken place, and the people behind me could hear even less than we could so I understand the frustration of non-movement, but today I realize how inappropriate and rude we were, and I am sorry for the handful of "MARCH!" es I added to the mix.
When Janelle Monae came out to speak, I was excited (I JUST saw Hidden Figures - see it at once) but had an almost impossible time hearing her speech. When she started her song I understood that she was talking about all of the lives lost to unspeakable police brutality. By this point in the rally the masses in front of us had grown restless and turned around. I am so thankful to my friends who stayed firmly planted facing forward - so I followed suite. During her song, the names of each individual were chanted by their family member and we yelled "say his/her name!" in unison. A woman in front of us, clearly ready to leave the confined non-moving area asked what was happening and my friend explained to her why we were yelling back at the stage. To me, this was the moment I really realized how big this movement needs to be. We ALL have to be on board.
As a white woman I work hard to be open, thoughtful, aware, and woke. But I fail sometimes.
I've been having a lot of conversations since the election about how I don't understand how people voted for TinyHands. I especially don't understand how women could have voted for him. And I will never understand how women who are my age thought he was a better choice. I have been talking at length about how we can work to educate and make these supporters aware of how dangerous he is. How we can educate and awaken them. And today, on the train ride back from DC to NYC, while reading Ms. Nguyen's post I realized that I need to educate and awoke myself. I need to listen more. Be an active participant in the Black Lives Matter movement. I need to be educated enough so that the next time someone doesn't understand why we are asking Trayvon Martin's mother to "say his name" again, I can be the one to speak up and educate them. I need to be more patient. I need to be better.
A friend's poster at the march read "We all do better when we ALL do better". At the time I was just thinking men/women, republican/democrat - but it's bigger than that. Women can't march in unison if we are not united. We cannot fight only half of a battle. We cannot demand equality with men, if we do not respect each other to be equal amongst ourselves.
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