Weep out the Toxins

There are very few things in my life that I find more cathartic than crying while I exercise.

As a rule, I avoid sad things.  I don’t watch dark movies. I don’t watch historical dramas.  I don’t read books about death, oppression, abuse, pain, divorce… take your pick.  I try really hard to avoid feeling sad.   I feel like there is enough sad in the world that I don’t need to seek it out in my recreational entertainment.  When I read or watch a movie I want to escape; I do it to feel better.   For the record, I understand the value of these books and movies, and respect people who enjoy them, but I do not.

I do, however, have a very depressing guilty pleasure in the tv show Grey’s Anatomy.  I just can’t stop myself.  I have sworn it off several times – the most recent being Sandra Oh’s departure (Christina Yang might be my favorite fictional character ever written), but week after week I tune in, and ball my eyes out. 

This morning at the gym was no exception.  On last night’s episode a barrage of depressing happenings, one after another, and I was balling like a stifled baby on the elliptical.  It should be mentioned here that I work out from 5:30-6:30 in the morning.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen other women in the gym at that time. 

One of the things I miss about my time in Florida is my gym.  It was huge and awesome – had killer classes, a ton of machines and new equipment.  It also featured a cinema room.   The cinema room was a huge movie theatre with treadmills, ellipticals, stationary bikes and stair machines.  The gym would play a movie on repeat for 24 hours and swap it out the next day.  It was awesome.  I once ran for almost 3 hours because I hadn’t seen Avatar in the theatres and wanted to stay til the end.   For the most part they played action or comedies – occasionally they’d show a horror movie, and one day (just once) they showed The Notebook.  No fewer than five dudes walked into the room, realized what was on the screen and turned around and walked out.  There was a woman in there with me that day and she ended up moving to the machine next to mine because, as she said “if we’re both gonna be crying, we might as well be near each other”.  I couldn’t agree more, lady. 

This morning while I wept with April Kepner as she held her dying baby in her arms, I did what I could to keep from audibly sobbing.  I am not a perfect person though and I definitely made the man grunt walking on the stair machine behind me very uncomfortable.  However, if I’m gonna cry while watching a sad show I’d rather do it working out than while laying on the couch.  There’s something so cleansing about it.  Work out the toxins and weep out the sad.  Not a bad way to start a Friday.