Friday, July 17, 2015

No. I don't like that.

I had an early morning rehearsal last saturday and I stayed out drinking on Friday night. Gone are the days when I could roll out of bed after a night of boozing and still look like a non-zombie. Surprisingly i got to rehearsal before my cast mates and like anyone with a hangover can tell you was craving a sausage egg and cheese sandwich. I went on the hunt for a deli. Much to my wobbly legged delight, there was one on the corner but standing just outside the door was a man. Seemingly normal- probably mid 40's and maybe 6 feet tall. He saw me coming and opened his mouth to leer openly at me. When I got closer he made some disgusting noises and said something along the line of "yeeeeeeeah gimmmme sum a that". 

I am a strong independent and fierce 34 year old woman. And this gross man creeped me out so bad that I shirked away and didn't actually go inside. I made a face of disgust and fear at this man and walked to the end of the block. I turned back and got my sandwich (that didn't have sausage btw and was not satisfying at all). 

I am so disappointed in my reaction to this man. I am constantly aware that creepy crazies can get dangerous at any moment so sadly. We always have to be cautious. But doing nothing? Making a face and running away? This man wins. 

I told some of the girls about what happened and was so sad that all of us have had similar encounters so often that we couldn't decide which stories to share. And all of us came up lacking with appropriate and semi-helpful comebacks.

One gal though said that her sister had taken a self defense class. In this class they had to practice a lot of things- but the most practical was saying very loudly "No. I don't like that." All the time. Someone touches you at a club? No. I don't like that. Someone catcalls you from their car? "No. I don't like that." Someone leers and looms at you outside a deli at 8am on a Saturday morning? "No. I don't like that." 

I love this idea. The trick apparently is saying it loud enough that other people hear and turn to look. The point is to say NO. The point is to safely take back control of your personal space. The side benefit is the hoped for embarrassment for said creep when his nastiness isn't ignored in silence. No more shrinking away with discomfort. 

"No. I don't like that." Not one bit. 

  

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