Anni-DOG-sary

On Sunday I will have had my dog for two years.

It feels like she has been in my life for eternity.  Two years feels so insignificant for all the ways she's made my life better.  For all the ways she's made me better.

I have never been a big believer on "things happening for a reason".  I always want to think that that is true.  I want to believe that all the crap we get dealt is for a bigger purpose.  But honestly, most of the time I think we just get handed a plate of garbage just because.  I romanticize the idea that there is some higher power in charge of our destiny, but don't think there is.  I do believe in a God - maybe not the traditional version, or the one that is taught anywhere.  But I believe there is more to this universe than just what we see - and that wouldn't be possible without something more having a hand in our existence.

One exception to this overall feeling is my dog.  When I met her I wasn't immediately smitten.  I mean, she is adorable; a long little frankenstein of a dog, with giant pleading eyes and bat ears, but when we met I didn't think "oh yeah - this is my dog".  When my sister found her dog at the Humane Society, we were on the phone and she saw him, said "oh no..." and then hung up on me.  She was looking to volunteer at the shelter - she was not in the market to adopt a dog.  She says that she saw him and just knew he was meant to be in her life.  I've heard a lot of people say that.  I never felt that.  Only when I got an email from my dog's foster parents (a few days after I met her) saying that someone else was interested in adopting her did I start to feel connected to her.  My dog is (and I say this with affection) an aquired taste. She was a street dog in Puerto Rico for the first year of her life and that has made her scared and brave and stubborn and strong.  Her first year made her very strong, which doesn't always translate into the best pet material.  It took us almost three weeks to start bonding.  She is a lot like a cat in that she has to choose you before you can force affection on her.  She is slow to warm but then is the sweetest little love bug that has ever been.

I think the universe knew I needed something in my world to change and I think the universe hand picked this dog for me.  She never walks faster than a saunter so I am forced to slow down.  She gets grumpy at night if I'm staying up past when she wants to be asleep, so I am forced to turn off the lights.  She was very sick when I adopted her, so I was forced to pay attention and focus on her instead of on my nonsense.  She is scared of loud and sudden sounds, so I am forced to seek out quiet and peace.  She needs a lot of physical attention, so I am forced to offer it.  Having this dog has forced me one stray hair at a time to find happiness.  The universe knew I was struggling so it offered me a respite in the form of tiny little mutt.

Sarah Silverman, who is often too crass in her comedy for my taste (but who, for the record I have MAD respect for) lost her dog a year or so ago.  In her grief she took to her blog to write her little Duck a eulogy.  It was beautiful and heartfelt and sums up how I feel about my pup.